About the Author-
“You are great with people” is something I always hear. I took it so seriously I made it my career. I am working to be a certified psychologist and pursuing a career in Management Psychology and Family Therapy. I have completed certifications in Behavioural Disorders in Children (from Spain), Counselling and Marital counselling (Pondicherry).
During my pharmacy tenure, I completed certification in Bioinformatics and IPR (from IIPTA). I currently focus on developing my skills in Management by working in the corporate Insurance Sector. The course and my current role have been great catalysts in helping me discover myself, my strengths, my skills, and my interest. Apart from trying to balance my career and education, I enjoy reading a lot of publications, research, and blogs about PSYCHOLOGY in general. Ever since I discovered my flair for writing, I channelize my idle time into articulating my thoughts and feelings into words that many can relate to. This has helped me shine light and hone my written communication. I have won a few competitions recently in ISKON and Moonlyte; I also write occasionally in the popular Indian blog, Momspresso – https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/newbie-s-entrancing-perspectives
Author Story Article-
The other day I was talking to a family member. She shared her experience from a recent wedding she’d attended. She expressed how the family members were emotional while the bride enjoyed and relished every moment of each ritual and ceremony.
With my husband being my pastime gossip buddy, I shared her words with him in awe. His reaction amazed me. “What’s so shocking about this? It’s the family that creates so much hype with tears and sentiments. Wedding, otherwise, should be rejoiced, don’t you think?”
It appeared somewhat insensitive to me. I have a son. “So, if we have a daughter, you are trying to say that you wouldn’t get emotional at her wedding?”
Without a second’s thought, he responded, “NO! Bidai is an Indian tradition made up by us, right?” The words that followed opened my eyes to a whole different perspective!
“If you think, Bidai happens when the daughter leaves home for her college. Marriage is just an occasion. She would have left home years before her marriage. If I ever have to cry, I would when my daughter leaves for graduation. Marriage is more of a celebration.”
This incident happened nearly a month ago. Every day, I’ve been thinking. I left home in 2008. My thoughts, dreams, and way of perceiving people began changing a little before my sophomore year. I changed my desires, demands, and priorities to suit my vision of a future I want. This never meant any less love for the ones who brought me to this world. My ability to cope with living under one shelf with my parents doesn’t seem like a long-term situation. Deep inside, I know I would pounce at the first opportunity to have my own space. Wanting a more defined lifestyle does not mean I am insensitive or inconsiderate to the world around me. Love and affection cannot get mixed up with practicality and identity.
The words my husband uttered was an indefinite reality check. While marriages have Bidai, the current trend of having to migrate for college or work in a way has already pushed girls out of their cocoons. With current generation keeping every one of their personal circle on priority, marriage never implies bidding adieu to parents, especially for the bride. A broader way of looking at life is necessary to break norms that keep most families orthodox, especially in a technological post-pandemic world.
People fight for equality. People have debates on feminism. I wish voices like my husband’s echo in every corner of the world. With a man of such thoughts, my home would be a world of equality, empowerment, and growth that will create opportunities never envisioned before. I may have a sound sleep knowing my home would be the APT place for any girl yearning to thrive in her vision of a magnanimous future.
